Family Trying to Control How I Raise My Child

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What's the Best Way to Discipline My Child?

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As a parent, 1 of your jobs to teach your child to conduct. It's a job that takes time and patience. Only, information technology helps to larn the effective and good for you subject field strategies.

Here are some tips from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) on the best means to help your kid learn acceptable behavior as they abound.

10 Healthy Subject area Strategies That Work

The AAP recommends positive discipline strategies that finer teach children to manage their behavior and proceed them from harm while promoting healthy development. These include:

  1. Testify and tell. Teach children right from wrong with at-home words and actions. Model behaviors yous would like to see in your children.

  2. Set limits. Have clear and consistent rules your children can follow. Exist sure to explain these rules in age-appropriate terms they tin can understand.

  3. Give consequences. Calmly and firmly explain the consequences if they don't behave. For example, tell her that if she does not pick up her toys, you volition put them abroad for the rest of the 24-hour interval. Exist prepared to follow through right away. Don't requite in by giving them back after a few minutes. Merely recollect, never accept away something your child truly needs, such as a repast.

  4. Hear them out. Listening is important. Let your kid stop the story before helping solve the problem. Lookout man for times when misbehavior has a design, similar if your child is feeling jealous. Talk with your child about this rather than just giving consequences.

  5. Give them your attending. The most powerful tool for effective discipline is attention—to reinforce adept behaviors and discourage others. Remember, all children want their parent's attention.

  6. Grab them being proficient. Children need to know when they practise something bad--and when they practice something good. Discover skillful behavior and indicate it out, praising success and good tries. Be specific (for example, "Wow, you did a good chore putting that toy away!").

  7. Know when not to reply. Equally long every bit your child isn't doing something dangerous and gets plenty of attention for skillful behavior, ignoring bad behavior tin can be an effective way of stopping it. Ignoring bad beliefs tin also teach children natural consequences of their actions. For example, if your kid keeps dropping her cookies on purpose, she will soon have no more cookies left to eat. If she throws and breaks her toy, she volition not be able to play with it. It will not exist long earlier she learns not to drib her cookies and to play carefully with her toys.

  8. Be prepared for trouble. Plan ahead for situations when your child might take problem behaving. Fix them for upcoming activities and how yous want them to behave.

  9. Redirect bad behavior. Sometimes children misbehave because they are bored or don't know any better. Detect something else for your kid to do.

  10. Call a time-out. A fourth dimension-out can be especially useful when a specific rule is broken. This subject field tool works best by warning children they will get a time out if they don't terminate, reminding them what they did wrong in as few words―and with as little emotion―as possible, and removing them from the situation for a pre-set up length of time (one minute per year of age is a skillful dominion of thumb). With children who are at least 3 years erstwhile, you can try letting their children pb their own time-out instead of setting a timer. You can just say, "Go to time out and come back when you feel ready and in command." This strategy, which can help the child acquire and practice cocky-management skills, also works well for older children and teens.

​Spanking and Harsh Words are Harmful and Don't Piece of work. Here's Why:

The AAP policy statement, "Effective Discipline to Raise Healthy Children," highlights why information technology's of import to focus on teaching good behavior rather than punishing bad behavior.  Research shows that spanking, slapping and other forms of concrete punishment don't work well to right a child's behavior. The same holds truthful for yelling at or shaming a child. Beyond being ineffective, harsh physical and verbal punishments tin can as well harm a child's long-term concrete and mental health.

  • Spanking's unhealthy cycle. The AAP advises that parents and caregivers should not spank or hitting children. Instead of pedagogy responsibility and cocky-control, spanking oftentimes increases aggression and anger in children. A written report of children born in xx large U.S. cities found that families who used concrete punishment got caught in a negative cycle: the more children were spanked, the more they later misbehaved, which prompted more spankings in response. Spanking'south effects may likewise be felt beyond the parent-child relationship. Because it teaches that causing someone hurting is OK if you're frustrated—fifty-fifty with those y'all dearest. Children who are spanked may exist more than likely to hit others when they don't become what they want.

  • Lasting marks. Physical punishment increases the take chances of injury, especially in children under 18 months of historic period, and may get out other measurable marks on the brain and body. Children who are spanked prove higher levels of hormones tied to toxic stress. Physical punishment may also affect brain evolution. One report found that young adults who were spanked repeatedly had less greyness matter, the part of the brain involved with cocky-command, and performed lower on IQ tests as immature adults than the control group.

  • Verbal corruption: How words injure. Yelling at children and using words to crusade emotional hurting or shame also has been constitute to be ineffective and harmful. Harsh exact discipline, even by parents who are otherwise warm and loving, can lead to more misbehavior and mental health problems in children. Research shows that harsh verbal discipline, which becomes more than common as children go older, may lead to more beliefs problems and symptoms of low in teens.

Acquire from Mistakes—Including Your Ain

Remember that, as a parent, y'all can give yourself a time out if you feel out of control. Just make sure your kid is in a safe place, and then give yourself a few minutes to take a few deep breaths, relax or call a friend. When you are feeling better, become back to your child, hug each other, and start over.

If you lot exercise not handle a situation well the offset time, try not to worry about information technology. Think about what you could take washed differently and try to do it the next time. If y'all feel you lot have made a existent mistake in the heat of the moment, look to cool downwardly, apologize to your kid, and explicate how you will handle the situation in the future. Be sure to keep your promise. This gives your child a skilful model of how to recover from mistakes.

Healthy & Effective Subject Tips by Age/Stage

​Infants

  • ​Babies learn by watching what you lot do, then set examples of beliefs you expect.

  • Employ positive language to guide your baby. For example, say, "Time to sit," rather than, "Don't stand up."

  • Salvage the word, "no," for the most important bug, like safety. Limit the need to say "no" by putting dangerous or tempting objects out of reach.

  • Distracting and replacing a dangerous or forbidden object with ane that is okay to play with is a good strategy at this age.

  • All children, including babies, demand consistent discipline, then talk with your partner, family unit members, and child intendance provider to set basic rules everyone follows.

​Toddlers

  • ​Your kid is starting to recognize what's allowed and what isn't but may test some rules to meet how you react. Pay attending to and praise behaviors you lot like and ignore those you lot want to discourage. Redirect to a unlike activity when needed.

  • Tantrums tin become more common every bit your child struggles to master new skills and situations. Anticipate tantrum triggers, similar beingness tired or hungry, and aid head them off with well-timed naps and meals.

  • Teach your toddler not to hit, bite, or use other aggressive behaviors. Model nonviolent behavior past not spanking your toddler and by handling disharmonize with your partner in a constructive way.

  • Stay consequent in enforcing limits. Try short time-outs if needed.

  • Admit conflicts betwixt siblings merely avoid taking sides. For instance, if an argument arises near a toy, the toy tin be put away.

​Preschool Age

  • ​Preschool-age children are even so trying to sympathise how and why things work and what consequence their actions accept. As they acquire appropriate behavior, expect them to keep testing the limits of parents and siblings.

  • Begin assigning age-appropriate chores, similar putting their toys away. Give simple, step-by-step directions. Reward them with praise.

  • Allow your child to make choices among acceptable alternatives, redirecting and setting sensible limits.

  • Teach your child to treat others as she wants to exist treated.

  • Explain that it'southward OK to feel mad sometimes, but non to injure someone or break things. Teach them how to deal with angry feelings in positive ways, like talking about information technology.

  • To resolve conflicts, utilize time-outs or remove the source of disharmonize.

​Gradeschool-Historic period Children

  • ​Your kid is start to get a sense of correct and wrong. Talk almost the choices they have in hard situations, what are the skilful and bad options, and what might come next depending on how they decide to human action.

  • Talk virtually family expectations and reasonable consequences for not following family rules.

  • Provide a residue of privileges and responsibility, giving children more privileges when they follow rules of good behavior.

  • Continue to teach and model patience, business organization and respect for others.

  • Don't let yourself or others use physical penalisation. If you alive in an area where corporal penalization is immune in schools, yous accept the right to say that your child may not be spanked.

​Adolescents & Teens

  • ​Every bit your teen develops more independent decision-making skills, y'all'll need to balance your unconditional dearest and support with clear expectations, rules, and boundaries.

  • Continue to show plenty of affection and attention. Make time every day to talk. Young people are more than likely to make good for you choices if they stay connected with family members.

  • Get to know your teen'southward friends and talk about responsible and respectful relationships.

  • Admit your teen'due south efforts, achievements, and success in what they practise―and don't do. Praise the pick to avoid using tobacco, east-cigarettes, alcohol, or other drugs. Ready a proficient example through your own responsible use of alcohol and other substances.

Additional Information:

  • 15 Tips to Survive the Terrible 3's
  • How to Shape and Manage Your Immature Child's Behavior

  • Disciplining Older Children

  • How to Give a Time-Out

  • Effective Bailiwick to Raise Good for you Children (AAP Policy Statement)

Commodity Torso

Last Updated
11/five/2018
Source
American University of Pediatrics (Copyright © 2018)

The information contained on this Web site should non be used as a substitute for the medical intendance and advice of your pediatrician. There may exist variations in handling that your pediatrician may recommend based on private facts and circumstances.

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Source: https://healthychildren.org/English/family-life/family-dynamics/communication-discipline/Pages/Disciplining-Your-Child.aspx

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